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This work, reminiscent of inflatable sex dolls, stems from my personal experience with sexual racism and fetishization as a gay Asian man. The color of my skin prompts stereotypes. These dolls are projections of my feelings around how I am simultaneously viewed as a sexual object and yet as unattractive because I am Asian. Statements from other men such as “you’re hot for an Asian guy,” “I’m not into Asians,” and “I love Asians” affect how I see my own appearance and identity. The range of biased, opposing judgments have made me question my sense of self. Some people have stereotypical beliefs, but justify them as personal preference. That only proves how the deep permeation of racism is normalized in society- to the point where it affects how people perceive the attractiveness or unattractiveness of certain races.
The act of dyeing and sewing the fabric from bed sheets in order to make a life-sized figure conjures a lonely and futile attempt to create a substitute or some sense of relationship with something. These dolls represent times of self-hatred, the outward projection of anger, and the questioning of self-worth. However, they also are about times of healing, self-acceptance, forgiveness, and self-respect. They are a manifestation of this struggling journey that leads to the acknowledgment of my own beauty and of loving myself for who I am.